Friend Dumped

³⁵ Jesus wept.
John 11:35 (ESV)

Ever had a friend just decide that they don't want to be friends anymore?  They may blow up at you, they may tell you they don't have time for you, or just fade away out of your life and start ignoring you.  I looked for verses in the Bible that dealt with this, and one was the "shortest verse in the Bible".  Jesus wept.

At first I was like, that doesn't apply.  He was crying because Lazarus was dead.  He was grieving over the loss of a friend who had died.  And yet, he knew what he was going to do.  He knew that Lazarus would be alive again.  Yet he still wept.  He still grieved.  And so the lesson to me here was, even when it seems silly - even when it seems like a pointless gesture - sometimes you have to grieve, because that is how you feel.  Jesus wasn't crying because he would never see his friend again.  He was crying because he was sad.  He had suffered a loss.

Sometimes, you just gotta grieve.

Every time someone walks out of my life, it is intensely painful to me.  I do not handle rejection well.  I always internalize it and endlessly examine what I might have done wrong to make someone not want to be my friend anymore.  One of the things I have learned through swing dancing is that rejection is not about you - it's about them.  There can be a lot of reasons for rejection.  Whatever the issue - it's not yours.

If a relationship is worth saving, someone will go through the effort of explaining their issue with you and resolving it.  If they aren't willing to put in the effort, then they're not the friend you thought they were.  That doesn't mean they're not worth the effort though.

Our society puts a lot of emphasis on cutting and running when things get tough.  Movies tell us everything should have a happy ending.  TV shows tell us that if a relationship is bumpy, it's better to break up - if a marriage isn't working, get a divorce.  Any relationship takes two people.  If one is done, there is nothing you can do.

So you must move on.  And weep.


http://kairosverse.blogspot.com

My soul finds rest in God alone.

1 My soul finds rest in God alone;
my salvation comes from him.

2 He alone is my rock and my salvation;
he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.

Psalm 62:1-2 (NIV)

This verse reminds me of Exodus 20:3 "You shall have no other gods before me". Except that it's turned on its head. Instead of a commandment from God, it is an exclamation of God's greatness. I have no other gods before me, because my salvation comes from my God. He is my rock, my fortress. My soul finds rest in him. It's just so uplifting to view one of the commandments, and the one Jesus said was the most important, in such a wonderful new light.

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Love Eternal

15 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast
and have no compassion on the child she has borne?
Though she may forget,
I will not forget you!

16 See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;
your walls are ever before me.

Isaiah 49:15-16 (New International Version)

There's more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gently than a mother's
When her baby's at her side
- Rich Mullins, If I Stand

These verses are God responding to His people's cry that He has forsaken them. He says that he will love us more than a mother loves her child - never forgetting us no matter what. It is a love eternal. This passage is one of comfort and hope.

This is the last set of verses and lyrics for Rich Mullins' song, If I Stand. The song has always been one of comfort to me, even though it's a somewhat sad and slow tune. The verses he ascribes to his lyrics speak of God's greatness, the eternal reward of heaven, his love for us. They speak of hope, comfort and love.

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A song of ascents.

© Alyssa Grabinski

A song of ascents.

¹ When the LORD brought back the captives to Zion,
we were like men who dreamed.
² Our mouths were filled with laughter,
our tongues with songs of joy.
Then it was said among the nations,
"The LORD has done great things for them."
³ The LORD has done great things for us,
and we are filled with joy.
⁴ Restore our fortunes, O LORD,
like streams in the Negev.
⁵ Those who sow in tears
will reap with songs of joy.
⁶ He who goes out weeping,
carrying seed to sow,
will return with songs of joy,
carrying sheaves with him.
Psalm 126 (New International Version)

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can't let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to you
If I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs

- Rich Mullins, If I Stand

Today's verse is about how God turns our sorrow to joy. Even in the midst of our sadness, he can turn things around. Those are words of comfort when we are sad or depressed. Rich Mullins' lyrics say, "Even if I can't sing about joy in my life now Lord, I can still rejoice in the joy that brought me to you." His grace is abundant, and it is always there to catch us when we fall.

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A Hug In Words

2 As the mountains surround Jerusalem,
so the LORD surrounds his people
both now and forevermore.

Psalm 125:2 (New International Version)

More that shines in the night
Than just the moon
There's more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

- Rich Mullins, If I Stand

This verse is a verse of comfort. I have never read it before and I love how it's like a giant hug in words. God is always there, surrounding us, protecting us. It's not the oppressive weight of Big Brother, but the majestic sweeping of beauty of solid bulwarks that last for eons. God was here before us and will be there long after we are gone from the earth. What images does this verse evoke in your mind?

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Pray for One Another

I urge you, brothers, by our Lord Jesus Christ and by the love of the Spirit, to join me in my struggle by praying to God for me.

Romans 15:30 (NIV)

These words were written by Paul, and they are a reminder that we all need friends. We need help and support and prayer from them. We cannot do things on our own. At Kairos, Nicole and I split our small group into pairs for prayer partners. We ask people to tell each other what's going on in their lives. Then we ask them to pray for each other. It's something people usually aren't sure about but end up enjoying. It's something that's easy to do when you're there, but I doubt many people pray with their friends when they are home.

If you're like me, even suggesting to say grace when you're at lunch with your friends can feel a bit daunting. Especially if they're not all Christian. However usually if you suggest saying Grace, people agree. Though you usually get the joy of praying. ;) So the next time you're at lunch with friends, suggest saying Grace. It doesn't have to be long. "Thank you God," is easy enough to say. If your courage isn't quite there, considering bowing your own head for a moment and silently praying, "Thank you God." You'd be surprised the effect it can have on people.

If someone's having a bad day, you might consider praying with them as well. It sounds hokey, but it helps. It also tells the person you care enough to go out on a limb like that for them.

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Praising An Awesome God

¹ I will exalt you, my God the King;
I will praise your name for ever and ever.

² Every day I will praise you
and extol your name for ever and ever.

³ Great is the LORD and most worthy of praise;
his greatness no one can fathom.

⁴ One generation will commend your works to another;
they will tell of your mighty acts.

⁵ They will speak of the glorious splendor of your majesty,
and I will meditate on your wonderful works.

⁶ They will tell of the power of your awesome works,
and I will proclaim your great deeds.

⁷ They will celebrate your abundant goodness
and joyfully sing of your righteousness.

⁸ The LORD is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and rich in love.

Psalm 145:1-8 (NIV)

My iPod played "Awesome God" twice in a row and I took it as a sign. Today was a rather rough day for me. Nothing spectacular, but lots of little things that added up to something less than wonderful. Despite this there were good things in my day. I spent most of it in the company of Patrick Powell - one of my youth who is all grown up and working with me. We did lunch and dinner and his enthusiasm for life was a very nice thing to have today. The picture I chose today is a sunset captured by Alyssa that displays God's power and beauty. As I looked at the photo I could almost see the clouds moving. How majestic!

Sometimes despite the things going on, God sends us what we need to continue on. When Jesus gave us the Lord's prayer, he gave us more than just words to say. He gave us a pattern to follow. It satrts with praise, "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name." The psalm today is the start of a prayer. It is the start of mine today, and I encourage you to make it yours. Start your prayers with praise and then ask God for the things you need.

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Take Comfort in God

I will not leave you comfortless: I will come
to you.

John 14:18 (KJV)

Today's verse was inspired by Grace Day, who is dealing with a breakup. As I searched for words of comfort on these Internets, I found the above verse. The verse is about Jesus coming back after His death. It speaks to me of more however. Not just of His second coming, but of the fact that he is always with us. We can turn to Him and He will comfort us.

In those times when you're feeling lonely, rejected, sad, as if no one cared for you - remember that God does care for you. God will not leave you comfortless. He will come to you. These are words of hope when we are down and at our worse. God loves us. He died on the cross for our sins. Nothing and no one is beneath His notice. When you are sad He is there with you. He has nowhere else more important to be.

Today's picture is entitled "Rain on a Rose". I chose it because it depicts to me sadness and hope in the same picture. The rain drops are like tears on the petals. The black and white colors make this a stark and lonely picture. And yet at the same time the rose is white, full of light and hopeful. The rain does not take anything away from the rose. In fact it enhances its beauty. Soon it will dry in the rays of the sun and the rain drops will be but a memory...

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