Being Cheated On

³The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group ⁴and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. ⁵In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" ⁶They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.

But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. ⁷When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." ⁸Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.

⁹At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. ¹⁰Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?"

¹¹"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."

John 8:3-11 (NIV)

Today's passage is third in a three-day series. I have been talking with a number of people about cheating lately, both spouses and boyfriends/girlfriends. Today's verse is for people who have been cheated on.

You may be surprised by the verse I chose. I think it is appropriate when you are hurt by someone else to take a step back before going on the offensive. Jesus did say that if your spouse commits adultery you can divorce them. But is that what we should do? And what about dating? In today's passage, Jesus tells us that we shouldn't be accusing others unless we too are blameless.

As painful as it is, a relationship takes two. It takes two to make work and it takes two to mess up. Having someone cheat on you hurts, and abandoning the relationship seems like the easy thing to do sometimes. If you've been dating for a month when you are cheated on, you probably don't want to be in that relationship. Cheating is a hard thing to recover from and it requires a past history of trust and a lot of unconditional love.

If you have a long relationship and you are cheated on, look at why it happened. Is the relationship recoverable? If so then that is probably the right course of action. Hard times include those that are self-inflicted. Ultimately it may not be an easy decision, and you may not be able to make it work; but your first response should be to try to forgive.

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